To My "Special Friend",
I remember the day when we first met. It was a cool fall afternoon. You were leaving the bookstore and I was entering the bookstore. I remember that day because I was going to look for a book on how to get back in shape. When I broke up with my last boyfriend, I vowed not to be insecure and decided to makes some changes in my life. That day was a defining moment for me and meeting you on that day had proven it. When you held the door open for me you smiled and said hello. When our eyes met, you took my breath away! I told myself that I would never fall for the same guy again so, I said hello and kept it moving!
You were handsome, and very attractive, yet I could no longer allow myself to fall for such a guy right off the bat. I thought about you for a few moments after that but by the end of the day I had forgotten all about you. A week went by and I went back to the bookstore, and there you were again, leaving as I was exiting! Again you spoke to me but this time you were more confident and asked for my phone number. I never really expected it. I was suppose to spout out a fake number as I have always done when guys I'm not interested in ask for my digits but this time, I blurted out my real one! However, I know guys and they usually never call. I had always thought that a lot of them just ask for the number just to see if they can get it and you were no exception. Oh well! After a few weeks of not one single phone call from you, I forgot about you AGAIN.
So you can understand how surprised I was when I saw you in Walmart! You were entering this time, and I was exiting the store. I noticed that you had two personal cell phones and a bluetooth device in your right ear. I always told myself not to go for guys with two cell phones because it usually indicates that they are players and have multiple women if they don't have their own business. Be for real, what other reason must a person have two cell phones? Well, either that or they just don't have any time to spend on new relationships.
Either way, when you approached me and assured me that you hadn't forgotten about me and that you would call, I surprisingly felt relieved. I don't know why because everything in my mind is telling me you are not the one but I'm lonely and I really could use the distraction from my boring life.
You finally made the call to me and by that time I had become really excited and looking forward to whatever kind of relationship this was. It really didn't matter to me at that point if you were a player or not.
Our first date was nice. We went for a walk in the park and we talked and shared our hopes and dreams. Wow! I never imagined what a real honest date would be like and you showed me. You never pressured me into anything, you allowed me to be myself and that was something I wasn't used to. You were a welcoming distraction that turned into something in the story books. By our 10 week anniversary I was head over heals in love and no one could tell me otherwise. I didn't care about the phone calls, the text messages, and the secret emails. I didn't care that whenever we became intimate, you always had something urgent to do afterwards. I didn't care that I never met your family or your close friends. All I wanted was you and I usually get what I want. For the moments that we were together I had you over and over and over again. I didn't want those private moments between us to ever end. I took full advantage of the time we spent together because I knew deep down that it would never last. But it did.
Our relationship lasted longer than I would have ever hoped it would considering your little confession. You told me that you were seeing another woman but you were not intimate with her like you were with me. She was your girlfriend, but I was your lover! You told me anything I wanted from you I could have. I told you all I wanted was you and you told me I had you. But I did have you. I had you up until your wedding day! She got your love, friendship and respect. All I got from you was your body. You know what? I may have been happy with that 7 years ago, but as I sit here and read your text messages, voicemail messages, and emails about how you miss me and still want to be with me, I'm sorry but its just not enough anymore.
Today I just turned thirty years old and I am not the same silly little school girl that believe everything a guy tells her. You see, I no longer hang on every word and expect you to mean what you say because you really don't mean what you say, but you definitely mean what you do. You did get married to another woman that is not me, and for that I will never forgive you. I will never speak to you again and our communication from this point on is no longer something I want. I no longer want you. I am a better woman because you taught me a valuable lesson, If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, then damn it, its a duck! You sir are a duck and now I know for a fact that my time with you was not completely in vain because now I can weed out the insignificant relationships in my life! I wish you luck in your marriage because you will need it. If you cheated on her for this long, you will never stop. Some women may not mind being the wife of a man who cheats, but that's only if they never know.
