Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Trick

To The Other Woman,
I am a woman scorned by the lack of love. I was in a relationship with a man who never loved me for over three years. I remember confessing my love for him and asking him if he would leave his girlfriend and be with me forever and his only reply was, " I know you love me and want to be with me, silly! But I can't because I am with somebody!" It wasn't the 'being with somebody' that sent me over the edge, because I have broken up with him and taken him back, time and time again. No. What finally did it for me was that he called me 'Silly'! That word struck a nerve in me like nothing I have ever heard before, partly because he was right! Silly. Oh how I have been so silly! It was silly of me to think I had a future with this trifling, no good, two-timing loser. It was silly of me to think he could love me the way I wanted to be loved. He could never love me. To him, I am nothing but a silly little girl who's desire for attention and validation left her begging for scraps from a full course meal cooked to perfection in her honor. My silliness blinded me from the reality, replacing it with a fantasy! He called me silly! He saw me as silly and for that I am ashamed and embarrassed. Why have I subjected myself to such shame and humiliation over and over again?! He saw the silliness of my thinking. The  truth within me-buried so deep it was beyond my comprehension. I have allowed this to happen for the sake of affection for one night of many with each month of the year because that was how often he wanted to see me. I have fallen for his trick but I have a better one.
Guys like this are full of tricks and are extremely sneaky. They pride themselves on knowing how to cover their tracks. They can build a web of lies so good that even they start to believe them to be true. To get even with a guy like this, you have to beat them at their own game. Who knows, if you are successful, you may be able to make some money off them!
You must know that this type of guy is an unintelligent, over-confidant liar!  He lies to his wife/girlfriend about how much he loves her and that she is the only one for him. He lies about his whereabouts. He does this on  a regular basis because he has to. He is extremely over confidant because he has done this so many times without getting caught, he think he is a natural. He knows that if you ever decide to tell his wife/girlfriend the real deal, there is a 50/50 chance that she won't believe you and he is betting she won't! What's more interesting is that he is not very bright. He tells you (the other woman) everything! You know more about his freaky escapades than his significant other does. He tells you the things he could never tell his wife/girlfriend because that will ruin the image of the man he fraudulently poses to be. You know every woman he has ever been with- all the way down to the very freaky detail of the encounter.
He thinks that by telling you these things you may feel privileged  and special; whereby forming a false connection because of his openness.Opening up to you makes up for you being second best (or third best) and so on. It's also good for him to to release this burden of secrecy. There lies some level of trust because after all, you are a secret as well. You will never tell because you enjoy being privileged and special as I have felt. I enjoyed feeling special. I thought he needed me! but he was just using me and I allowed him to do it.
But not anymore! This time I felt it best to get even with him!  I didn't like being known to be silly! So I got even.
After we hooked up for the last time, I waited three weeks before I called him and told him that I was pregnant. I told him that I was upset that it came to this and that since he wasn't going to be with me that I was going to have an abortion because there was no way that I could raise a child on my own while the father was with another woman. He agreed because he was selfish like that! I told him that since I was going to have the abortion and that it was his child, he would have to pay for it. I told him that since the clinic was out of town and that I had to stay a week in a hotel, that he would have to send me three thousand dollars, $1500 to cover the procedure, and $1500 for the hotel and food. He agreed. After that I told him once the procedure was done, that I would call him and after that I would never see him again! I told him it was too painful. He wired me the money straight to my bank account, I called him to tell him I received the money and I never heard from him again! Wow! Its a good thing I wasn't really pregnant!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Man of My Dreams

Dear Husband of One Year,
Shakespeare said it best, "To be, or not to be?-That is the question!". That is the question I ask my self every time I think of our relationship. Its hard waking up every morning not knowing what to expect and being swayed like the wind with doctrines and idealism that only you seem to comprehend. Its extremely tiresome to come home from work put the key in the front door and dread what is on the other side. To be or not to be? Will this be the final straw that breaks the camel's back or shall I say MY back? I am at a crossroad with you because you just don't think things through. You are all about the here and now and to me that is childish. I don't want any children right now, we discussed it! So, I can't raise you and I shouldn't have to. I thought you were an adult but it looks like I'm in love with a little boy. Ugh! You are so frustrating at times! Why can't you be more like the man of my dreams?
The man of my dreams cleans the house when I come home from work. He cooks dinner and runs my bath water and puts rose petals in them. The man of my dreams calls me 'sweetie' and 'honey' and 'dear'. Not, 'dude'! The man of my dreams is so romantic. We go for walks in the park and have picnics in the back yard, and at night, we layout a blanket and count the stars! I'm in love with the man of my dreams! He NEVER lets me down. When he says he is gonna do something, he does it! He puts me first before anything else! The man of my dreams lets me know he loves me by bringing me flowers just because he wants to for no particular reason at all! At one time, I thought you were the man of my dreams, that's why I married you. You swept me off my feet for six months then we got engaged! Then, six months later, we got married!
We met, got engaged and got married all in one year! Our love was a story book romance until we moved in together. The reality set in! You fart in your sleep, you belch after every meal which almost made me vomit! Your feet smell and you leave your shoes all over the house! You no longer work out, so your belly hangs over your belt, and your back is so hairy, you can walk outside with no shirt on and no one would ever notice!  And for the love of God, BRUSH YOUR TEETH! Its like you stopped doing what it took to attract me to you.
Who are you and what have you done with the man of my dreams? I feel as if I had been lied to for a year! Honestly, If I knew you were this gross, I never would have married you. Stinky breath is a deal breaker for sure! So, honey...I love you, but unless you do something about your hygiene and start loving me the way you used to I don't think we will make it to our 3 year anniversary! Be the man of my dreams again!