To My Dearest of all Friends,
Love is amazing and if you ever get a chance to experience it, then baby, you must be blessed! Now, I'm not talking about that temporary kind of love, or the feel good 'for now' kind of love. I'm talking about that genuine type of love that grows better with time like fine wine! Yeah, that kind of love. That kind of love wakes you up in the morning, protects you throughout the day and when you are about to do something stupid, warns you of the outcome. The love I'm talking about doesn't come easy but it comes with much hard work and dedication.
The type of love I'm talking about has a goal and its goals are to perfect and to nurture not to hurt or to hold back the people who desire it. I know you think you are in love, but baby let me tell you, If you don't have the character that is required to love how can you say you are in love?
Love is the actual journey, not the destination. The journey is what makes love eternal as long as you continue to express the character traits of love such as, patience (willingness to wait), generosity (giving as much as receiving), Humility (mutual respect), Meek (mild mannered and even tempered;easy to get along with) , gentile (slow to anger), having a Kind Heart (compassion, empathy; having a nurturing spirit) Passion (drive; determination to succeed). In any loving relationship all of these character traits should be in action When you can express these character traits of love that is how you know you are in love.
So you think you are in love huh? Well I think you need to rethink that! Love doesn't boss you around and treat you like an object to possess rather than a free thinking person who has their own emotions and feelings. Love is not disrespect you by calling me a "Bitch" or a "Whore". Love doesn't take away your self worth, instead it adds to it! You, my dear, have mistaken passion with possession. Nobody belongs to anyone! You can't make anyone love you if they don't want to. There is no amount of sex that is going to keep a man from cheating on you. There is no amount of phone calls text messages and emails that will make him want you more! All that is just bothersome and aggravation and will only lead you to be labeled as 'stalker' or 'pest'! Sweetie, patience is a virtue we all can stand to use more of but you need to exercise it a little more than most because you are doing too much!
Arguing to the point of violence is not him showing you care or vice verse. All that is going to to is get you both put in jail. You have to learn to exercise meekness! Be even tempered, don't be so quick to get angry and jealous. You will find that the more you listen to what is being said, the better your understanding of who you got your self hooked up to. I know you think you are being strong but sometimes are biggest strength is holding your tongue.
See, you are young, therefore you don't know your worth yet and right now you think the love I am talking about is lame. You want one of these guys that run around here imitating what they see on t.v. with their clothes over sized with their pants hanging below their waist. The media portrays slop as the new standard for sex appeal but its not reality. Its just a gimmick to get you to buy into their falsehoods and fake doctrines and fads. They are a made up persona. Don't you allow them to set the standard for what kind of man you desire to be with. You have a brain and you are able to make up your own mind!
Don't stoop so low to pick up a dollar bill when you can stand tall and receive something that is far more valuable, your self respect and the knowledge of your worth! That is something only God's Love can give you. You deserve to be loved and experience love and I hope you experience it so you can see that no amount of money can give you the joy of knowing your worth and what real love feels like!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Looking for Mr. Right: Never Found Him But Came Pretty Damn Close!
Dear Mr. Right,
Judging by the men I have dated in the past, I have yet to meet you and I am beginning to think I never will. However, if there was anyone who comes close to being you, it would have to be my boyfriend Justice. He is smart, funny, he loves to cook, and his teeth aren't crooked. I love nice teeth! And every morning, before he kisses me, he brushes them. How awesome is that?!
When I first met Justice, I didn't think he was much to look at. He definitely was not my first choice. In order for a shallow princess like myself to accept a guy like Justice, I had to kiss a few frogs and I met a real toad named Brant.
Brant was his name and he was FINE! I always dated the most attractive guys, looking for Mr. Right! I thought that you couldn't be anyone other than someone with a nice body, great hair and flawless skin and teeth! I always looked at the package instead of its contents! Brant was sexy, and he had great since of humor! Our first date he invited me to a barbecue with his friends at Summerlin Park!
It was fun! His friends were funny and we always had fun together. The more dates we went on the more comfortable he got around me. We began hanging around his friends more and I think that is when things start to get a little weird and change for the worse.
I can remember an incident where one of his friends needed a ride to work and he asked me to borrow my car. No big deal, I told him that I would tag along because I need to make a stop along the way! So, when we go to pick up his friend, he brings his other guy along that I have never met. Now, Brant and I were dating at the time, and I thought Brant could never do any wrong.
When a group of guys get together they can be terribly immature. Well, Brant's friends start making jokes about girls, and every girl they passed by that had short skirts or tight clothes on, the whistled and made insidious comments!
They went even further by rolling down the car window and yell,
" Hey baby, what you got in them jeans? Anything for me?!"
I was mortified and shamefully embarrassed because my car windows are not tinted and they see me in the car like I am co-signing on their idiotic behavior. Then they start making fun of me by telling Brant that he is soft for wanting to be with me all the time! Then I notice that Brant started to feel some peer pressure and decides he has to save face and starts acting out of his character by shouting and cursing like he was some kind of a rancid animal!
Then he says,
" Hell, I'm not tied down, I can do what the hell I want, when I want!"
Then he starts to also comment on women and acting a total ass in front of me like I was just one of the boys! I never said anything to him after that. I just felt to uncomfortable and humiliated! All I could think about is how the hell I could have ever thought that he could ever pass for being Mr. Right! I guess looks aren't important after all.
I broke up with him a few weeks after that. I couldn't be with a guy that took my friendship for granted or let his friends dictate his life by peer pressure. Any grown man that can be swayed by his friends must suffer from some sort of identity crisis or something. Its just too weird!
It wasn't until after I met Justice, that I realized why Brant and I couldn't work. Brant became too comfortable with me. He took my friendship for granted and started acting like I was his homeboy instead of his girlfriend.
There are just some things a girlfriend should never hear or see her boyfriend do. Although I admire his transparency and honesty, I couldn't help but feel that he got too complacent. I wanted to be set apart from everyone else, not be equal to them. I wanted to be that special place he goes to when he wants to be pure and special. I wanted him to treat me the way Justice treats me now-with love and kindness.
Justice never disrespects me and never allows anyone else to do so either. He is very respectful and his personality is age appropriate! Although he is 32 years old, he looks older because of his beard but, his smile tells his youth, and his eyes sparkle with integrity and grace. Most of all, our relationship is OURS, and he doesn't allow his friends to pass judgement on it because it doesn't belong to them. Justice is the type of man that values my love for him instead of condemning it! He nurtures and edifies it and always makes time for it because he cares just that much for me. I never really experienced that with any other guy, and although he is not as fine on the outside like Brant, his character more than makes up for any imperfections that he may have.
Judging by the men I have dated in the past, I have yet to meet you and I am beginning to think I never will. However, if there was anyone who comes close to being you, it would have to be my boyfriend Justice. He is smart, funny, he loves to cook, and his teeth aren't crooked. I love nice teeth! And every morning, before he kisses me, he brushes them. How awesome is that?!
When I first met Justice, I didn't think he was much to look at. He definitely was not my first choice. In order for a shallow princess like myself to accept a guy like Justice, I had to kiss a few frogs and I met a real toad named Brant.
Brant was his name and he was FINE! I always dated the most attractive guys, looking for Mr. Right! I thought that you couldn't be anyone other than someone with a nice body, great hair and flawless skin and teeth! I always looked at the package instead of its contents! Brant was sexy, and he had great since of humor! Our first date he invited me to a barbecue with his friends at Summerlin Park!
It was fun! His friends were funny and we always had fun together. The more dates we went on the more comfortable he got around me. We began hanging around his friends more and I think that is when things start to get a little weird and change for the worse.
I can remember an incident where one of his friends needed a ride to work and he asked me to borrow my car. No big deal, I told him that I would tag along because I need to make a stop along the way! So, when we go to pick up his friend, he brings his other guy along that I have never met. Now, Brant and I were dating at the time, and I thought Brant could never do any wrong.
When a group of guys get together they can be terribly immature. Well, Brant's friends start making jokes about girls, and every girl they passed by that had short skirts or tight clothes on, the whistled and made insidious comments!
They went even further by rolling down the car window and yell,
" Hey baby, what you got in them jeans? Anything for me?!"
I was mortified and shamefully embarrassed because my car windows are not tinted and they see me in the car like I am co-signing on their idiotic behavior. Then they start making fun of me by telling Brant that he is soft for wanting to be with me all the time! Then I notice that Brant started to feel some peer pressure and decides he has to save face and starts acting out of his character by shouting and cursing like he was some kind of a rancid animal!
Then he says,
" Hell, I'm not tied down, I can do what the hell I want, when I want!"
Then he starts to also comment on women and acting a total ass in front of me like I was just one of the boys! I never said anything to him after that. I just felt to uncomfortable and humiliated! All I could think about is how the hell I could have ever thought that he could ever pass for being Mr. Right! I guess looks aren't important after all.
I broke up with him a few weeks after that. I couldn't be with a guy that took my friendship for granted or let his friends dictate his life by peer pressure. Any grown man that can be swayed by his friends must suffer from some sort of identity crisis or something. Its just too weird!
It wasn't until after I met Justice, that I realized why Brant and I couldn't work. Brant became too comfortable with me. He took my friendship for granted and started acting like I was his homeboy instead of his girlfriend.
There are just some things a girlfriend should never hear or see her boyfriend do. Although I admire his transparency and honesty, I couldn't help but feel that he got too complacent. I wanted to be set apart from everyone else, not be equal to them. I wanted to be that special place he goes to when he wants to be pure and special. I wanted him to treat me the way Justice treats me now-with love and kindness.
Justice never disrespects me and never allows anyone else to do so either. He is very respectful and his personality is age appropriate! Although he is 32 years old, he looks older because of his beard but, his smile tells his youth, and his eyes sparkle with integrity and grace. Most of all, our relationship is OURS, and he doesn't allow his friends to pass judgement on it because it doesn't belong to them. Justice is the type of man that values my love for him instead of condemning it! He nurtures and edifies it and always makes time for it because he cares just that much for me. I never really experienced that with any other guy, and although he is not as fine on the outside like Brant, his character more than makes up for any imperfections that he may have.
I never thought that I could ever care about someone based on how they treated me rather than how they look but now that I have grown up, I can honestly say that if you do exist Mr. Right; Justice, although he may not be you, he comes pretty damn close!
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