Out of the midst of the fog, I see you breathing endless amounts of sadness. Your eyes wet with grief, I can see it running down your cheeks. Your face soaked with guilt. Your hands clinging to the edge of the railing. Staring down into the abyss below, you tighten your grip on the railing hoisting yourself onto the ledge of the bridge. I shout!
-"Sir, is there something wrong?!"
No answer. You don't hear me or maybe you do, however you never turn your head to look at me. I want to run to you but I was too afraid of what I might see, so I shout again!
-"Sir, is there something wrong! Is there someone down there? Should I call the police?!"
I slowly approach you. Not close enough to grab you but close enough to see your face and what you are wearing. I notice you wearing a tuxedo with a white flower in your left front pocket. You turn to face me with pain in your eyes and with tears streaming down your caramel colored cheeks. You say,
"I'm sorry. I can't do this!" as you lean away from the rail.
I try to grab your arm before you let go, but it was to late. You were gone and I had no idea where you had fallen because of the darkness that lie beneath.
Who were you and what couldn't you do?
When the rescue divers fished your body out of the river. They asked me to identify your body as the man I saw. The tuxedo. Yes. It was you.
I couldn't help but wonder what would make a man throw himself off a bridge, ultimately ending his own life? Was he being blackmailed? Did he kill someone and could not live with the guilt?
His last words, "I'm sorry. I can't do this" haunted my dreams at night.
I couldn't sleep for days after that. His eyes forever etched in the back of my brain. I got a knock on the door, I spoke through the door before I opened it.
- "Who is it?"
"Its Sheila. ...Sheila Hollingsworth. I am the Widow of the man you saw fall off the bridge."
Okay, what the hell is she doing at my house. Somebody at the police station is getting fired! I still hadn't opened the door because what if she is crazy and thinks something was going on between me and him? I never knew the man!
So I call out to her through the closed door.
-"Ma'am, I don't know how you got my address but I can assure..."
"I just need a moment of your time, I don't mean any harm. I just want to know if he mentioned me at all! Did he say anything at all! I just want to know what happened! That night was our wedding night!"
I could hear the pain in her voice. She was heartbroken, not angry.
My anger towards her grew silent and I felt remorse for her. How could her newly wed husband commit such an act? This was too crazy to be true, but my inquiring mind wanted to know desperately who this man was and why he did it. So, I opened the door, but only cracked it a bit. I still didn't know her.
"Are you Sandra Burke?"
-"Yes. I am she.."
"May I come in? I promise I don't have any ulterior motive only to know what he said, if anything at all!"
-"Well, okay. But you can't stay long, I am expecting company in about an hour."
I lied. I wasn't expecting nobody over. I just wanted her to know that someone was on their way over just in case she tried anything funny. I let her in and we sat and talked, but she did most of the talking.
After I told her what he said to me on the bridge, she began to cry.
She said that she didn't mean to pressure him into marrying her. She just wanted her two kids to be in a household where both the parents were married. All her friends were married and she just got tired of everyone wondering when she was going to get married. Her parents weren't so thrilled when he got her pregnant at 16, and they didn't expect him to stick around, but he did. She went on to tell me that he was a good father to his 2 boys and that he loved them so much. She knew he didn't want to get married but his parents persuaded him into at least getting engaged.
They were engaged after they had their second child, and that was 5 years ago. She said he was always a mama's boy. He did whatever his mother told him. His mother wanted him to get married and have lots of children for her because he was her only child. He never really told anybody no. She didn't think he knew how. I began to feel sorry for him, but I was also angry at the same time.It was hard for me to fathom a grown man, not standing up for himself. Instead of doing what was right for him, he thought was right for everyone else. The guy was obviously depressed, and went through life not making any decisions for himself which ultimately lead him to suicide. He dug a whole so deep, it was better to die rather than dig himself out of it. So sad. Poor Sheila, A wife and a widow all in the same night! Better to live alone than to live a lie. After she left, I finally put everything in perspective and could finally sleep at night. I gave Sheila my phone number just in case she ever needed to talk. We ended up becoming good friends. She credits me for getting her through the roughest time in her life. I guess you never know how or why people come into your life. But, you are always glad that they are in your life. She eventually went back to school, for nursing, and graduated at the top of her class, and is now engaged to a doctor. Turns out this tragedy may have been the best thing that ever happened to her.- R.I. P. Tuxedo Man.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
A Chance Meeting With Noah Carter
I was walking down the side walk and stopped at the Cross Walk when,
"Excuse me, I really like your hair. Where do you go to get it done?"
- Supreme Diva Hair Studio on Third and Park Ave....Thanks for noticing. (Sigh) I was running low on funds so I had to get the daily special.
"Well, It looks good on you." (Smile)
- Thanks! Well it was nice talking to you. I've got to run! (Looks down at cell phone while walking away)
A Chance meeting between two strangers and neither one of us ask for a name. Neither one of us cared. This has happened to me before. I have held plenty of conversations with strangers, even talked to them for hours and not once had I asked for a name. Names aren't important anymore. At least not to me. I'm not good with names and I figure if I never ask for it then I'm not required to remember it. Besides, I think it is creepy to remember someone's name after one short conversation anyway. I think it shows that you care more than you should. Sure some might think that it is hospitable to ask for a name and remember it but I was never the hospitable type. When I was a kid I beat up all my friends who came to visit me for play dates and never allowed them to win any games we played. Hospitality? Its just not my thing. I never asked for his name, but he never asked for mine either. I just assumed he was being nice and trying to flirt a bit.
I was entering the library and decided to sit some place quiet until my business partner calls for the big meeting to pitch our business proposal to some local executives. I sat way in the back next to the window where I could see who was entering because I enjoy watching people. As I turned to grab a chair, I noticed the man I saw at the Cross Walk last week,
-Hi! It sure is fancy seeing you here! (smile)
"I know, what are the odds?"
-I'd say 1 in a million! (still smiling) This must be some kind of a sign.
"Ha ha (laughter). Maybe...One may never know unless..."
-(Phone vibrates) Well it was nice meeting you again. I've got to run! (Cell phone vibrates again. Answers phone while walking away)
"(Smiles) Likewise."
Okay. What are the chances of that happening? I hope he doesn't think that I am stalking him. I mean, running into the same stranger again is freaky and why didn't he ask for my name this time? Okay granted, I was the one that spoke to him first this time but he could have insisted to know my name. (Sigh) Oh well, maybe I am reading too much into it. He's just a stranger and nothing more. For all I know he could be a serial killing rapist! Or he could be the man of my dreams! I mean, he did seem optimistic about what meeting me again meant when I mentioned it being a sign! Maybe he is Gay. He did notice my hair and asked where did I have it done. What straight man asks a question like that? Or maybe it is worse than I think! He could be MARRIED and was asking about a good stylist for his WIFE!
Ugh! Why me?!? I always meet unavailable guys! With my luck he probably is married.
I was at the night club with a few friends when I felt a hand caress my shoulder and just as I turn to see who it is,
"Hey beautiful."
-Oh Wow...Hey What's up? (disappointed)
"Well, actually...I had been hoping to run into you again! So...you are what's up. (Smiles)
- Oh Really! (Uncomfortable laughter)...Well, here I am!
"I'm sorry. I never got to ask for your name. From the way you rushed off a few days ago, I was beginning to think my breath smelled! " (Laughs then Smiles).
-Oh yeah, about that...I had a business meeting to get to. I just ran in the library to wait for the call. Don't worry, it wasn't you that made me rush off! (Smiles at him, then looks away)
"Great! Well, I would love to get your phone number. Maybe we can get together for coffee sometime?"
-Oh sure...my name is Kierston and my phone number is 555-3221. What is your name?
" Noah...Noah Carter."
- Well Noah, its nice to have a name to go along with the handsome smile that I've grown fond of over the last week. Noah....I like it. It sounds so...
-"Biblical! (Burst of mutual laughter) I know...you don't see many black guys with biblical names anymore. Most are made up these days! (laughs)
-(smiles then looks at him) I was going to say refreshing, but biblical will work too! (mutual laughter)
(looks down at watch) "Well, Miss Kierston, this time it is I that must run off! (leans over and whispers)...I will call you."
(the sound of his whispering in her ear causes goosebumps. She is instantly turned on.)
-I will be waiting. (watches him walk away.)
Damn. He is Fine! AND he has a very respectable name. Thank God! Noah Carter sounds a hell of a lot better than Ja'Mericas Browman. I bet he works for a successful law firm or maybe he is a billionaire Advertisement Executive. He dresses very well and smells so good. What was his scent? Burberry? Whatever it was he had me at HELLO! He just might be the man of my dreams after all! This is so cool! I shouldn't have told him I would be waiting for him to call me. That would just make him think that I was too available. Hell, who am I kidding? I NEED A MAN!! Noah, Call me now, please!
Oh Snap! He wants to go for coffee...I don't drink coffee! I hope it was just a figure of speech! Maybe he meant lunch or dinner. Oh My God!!! He wants to take me out on a date! What will I wear? I have to go shopping for the perfect first date attire! I know just the place. SAKS Fifth Avenue is having a SALE!! I'm sure he will call this weekend for sure and when he does, I will be ready! Whew!
(Weekend comes and goes. No phone call)
Ugh! I should have gotten his number. Why didn't I get his number when I had the chance? I hate waiting by the phone. I need to get out of this house. I have been waiting all weekend for him to call me and I hadn't gotten one phone call. I need a distraction to take my mind off of Noah Carter, the handsome stranger. I'm going to the club with the girls tonight. Maybe he will be there again. I'm going to wear the dress I bought from SAKS. No sense in letting it go to waste in the closet.
(Week comes and goes. No phone call)
It is now the weekend and there is still no word from Noah Carter. I feel like I have been stood up. Why do I feel like this? Did he tease me on purpose? I'm so frustrated. I have built this fantasy relationship in my head about Noah Carter. It wasn't real. Nothing was real. All a fantasy. I must have misread all the signs. But he whispered in my ear and called me beautiful!! What kind of person would do that and NOT mean it? He asked me out for coffee..didn't he? Is coffee an acceptable first date or is it a friendly date? Oh man, I can't believe this guy got my head so confused! I am so confused. I thought he was really into me but I guess it was just some guy flirting with me to see if he still got it!
He probably threw my phone number in the trash the minute he got it! And to think I bought a dress for a total stranger to see me in for just one night! I spent money on a dress for a date that never happened! I even stopped dating just in case he called me. I wanted to be free whenever he was ready! Noah Carter! More like Know A Carter! He probably gave me a fake name! So, now am I supposed to go around the clubs and bars asking people, "Excuse me, but does anyone Know A Carter?" yeah, I've just played myself! Can't blame the guy for this one. All me!
"Excuse me, I really like your hair. Where do you go to get it done?"
- Supreme Diva Hair Studio on Third and Park Ave....Thanks for noticing. (Sigh) I was running low on funds so I had to get the daily special.
"Well, It looks good on you." (Smile)
- Thanks! Well it was nice talking to you. I've got to run! (Looks down at cell phone while walking away)
A Chance meeting between two strangers and neither one of us ask for a name. Neither one of us cared. This has happened to me before. I have held plenty of conversations with strangers, even talked to them for hours and not once had I asked for a name. Names aren't important anymore. At least not to me. I'm not good with names and I figure if I never ask for it then I'm not required to remember it. Besides, I think it is creepy to remember someone's name after one short conversation anyway. I think it shows that you care more than you should. Sure some might think that it is hospitable to ask for a name and remember it but I was never the hospitable type. When I was a kid I beat up all my friends who came to visit me for play dates and never allowed them to win any games we played. Hospitality? Its just not my thing. I never asked for his name, but he never asked for mine either. I just assumed he was being nice and trying to flirt a bit.
I was entering the library and decided to sit some place quiet until my business partner calls for the big meeting to pitch our business proposal to some local executives. I sat way in the back next to the window where I could see who was entering because I enjoy watching people. As I turned to grab a chair, I noticed the man I saw at the Cross Walk last week,
-Hi! It sure is fancy seeing you here! (smile)
"I know, what are the odds?"
-I'd say 1 in a million! (still smiling) This must be some kind of a sign.
"Ha ha (laughter). Maybe...One may never know unless..."
-(Phone vibrates) Well it was nice meeting you again. I've got to run! (Cell phone vibrates again. Answers phone while walking away)
"(Smiles) Likewise."
Okay. What are the chances of that happening? I hope he doesn't think that I am stalking him. I mean, running into the same stranger again is freaky and why didn't he ask for my name this time? Okay granted, I was the one that spoke to him first this time but he could have insisted to know my name. (Sigh) Oh well, maybe I am reading too much into it. He's just a stranger and nothing more. For all I know he could be a serial killing rapist! Or he could be the man of my dreams! I mean, he did seem optimistic about what meeting me again meant when I mentioned it being a sign! Maybe he is Gay. He did notice my hair and asked where did I have it done. What straight man asks a question like that? Or maybe it is worse than I think! He could be MARRIED and was asking about a good stylist for his WIFE!
Ugh! Why me?!? I always meet unavailable guys! With my luck he probably is married.
I was at the night club with a few friends when I felt a hand caress my shoulder and just as I turn to see who it is,
"Hey beautiful."
-Oh Wow...Hey What's up? (disappointed)
"Well, actually...I had been hoping to run into you again! So...you are what's up. (Smiles)
- Oh Really! (Uncomfortable laughter)...Well, here I am!
"I'm sorry. I never got to ask for your name. From the way you rushed off a few days ago, I was beginning to think my breath smelled! " (Laughs then Smiles).
-Oh yeah, about that...I had a business meeting to get to. I just ran in the library to wait for the call. Don't worry, it wasn't you that made me rush off! (Smiles at him, then looks away)
"Great! Well, I would love to get your phone number. Maybe we can get together for coffee sometime?"
-Oh sure...my name is Kierston and my phone number is 555-3221. What is your name?
" Noah...Noah Carter."
- Well Noah, its nice to have a name to go along with the handsome smile that I've grown fond of over the last week. Noah....I like it. It sounds so...
-"Biblical! (Burst of mutual laughter) I know...you don't see many black guys with biblical names anymore. Most are made up these days! (laughs)
-(smiles then looks at him) I was going to say refreshing, but biblical will work too! (mutual laughter)
(looks down at watch) "Well, Miss Kierston, this time it is I that must run off! (leans over and whispers)...I will call you."
(the sound of his whispering in her ear causes goosebumps. She is instantly turned on.)
-I will be waiting. (watches him walk away.)
Damn. He is Fine! AND he has a very respectable name. Thank God! Noah Carter sounds a hell of a lot better than Ja'Mericas Browman. I bet he works for a successful law firm or maybe he is a billionaire Advertisement Executive. He dresses very well and smells so good. What was his scent? Burberry? Whatever it was he had me at HELLO! He just might be the man of my dreams after all! This is so cool! I shouldn't have told him I would be waiting for him to call me. That would just make him think that I was too available. Hell, who am I kidding? I NEED A MAN!! Noah, Call me now, please!
Oh Snap! He wants to go for coffee...I don't drink coffee! I hope it was just a figure of speech! Maybe he meant lunch or dinner. Oh My God!!! He wants to take me out on a date! What will I wear? I have to go shopping for the perfect first date attire! I know just the place. SAKS Fifth Avenue is having a SALE!! I'm sure he will call this weekend for sure and when he does, I will be ready! Whew!
(Weekend comes and goes. No phone call)
Ugh! I should have gotten his number. Why didn't I get his number when I had the chance? I hate waiting by the phone. I need to get out of this house. I have been waiting all weekend for him to call me and I hadn't gotten one phone call. I need a distraction to take my mind off of Noah Carter, the handsome stranger. I'm going to the club with the girls tonight. Maybe he will be there again. I'm going to wear the dress I bought from SAKS. No sense in letting it go to waste in the closet.
(Week comes and goes. No phone call)
It is now the weekend and there is still no word from Noah Carter. I feel like I have been stood up. Why do I feel like this? Did he tease me on purpose? I'm so frustrated. I have built this fantasy relationship in my head about Noah Carter. It wasn't real. Nothing was real. All a fantasy. I must have misread all the signs. But he whispered in my ear and called me beautiful!! What kind of person would do that and NOT mean it? He asked me out for coffee..didn't he? Is coffee an acceptable first date or is it a friendly date? Oh man, I can't believe this guy got my head so confused! I am so confused. I thought he was really into me but I guess it was just some guy flirting with me to see if he still got it!
He probably threw my phone number in the trash the minute he got it! And to think I bought a dress for a total stranger to see me in for just one night! I spent money on a dress for a date that never happened! I even stopped dating just in case he called me. I wanted to be free whenever he was ready! Noah Carter! More like Know A Carter! He probably gave me a fake name! So, now am I supposed to go around the clubs and bars asking people, "Excuse me, but does anyone Know A Carter?" yeah, I've just played myself! Can't blame the guy for this one. All me!
Friday, November 11, 2011
The Secret Crush
Dear Crush,
My love life hasn't always been easy. In fact, it has been a string of bad relationships. Recently I had just broken up with my boyfriend who threw me out of his hotel room (because he didn't have a place to live) because I wouldn't have sex with him. He told me that God told him that his affection would come from his wife and I was his future wife. He said that if I wasn't going to give him any affection then I needed to leave. He then became extremely violent screaming and yelling while throwing things around the room. He grabbed my purse from the night stand where I had put it earlier.He then grabbed my arm, dragging me to the door, opened it with his right hand and threw me out and with a dramatic flair threw my purse out onto the ground! Surprisingly enough, I was not upset.
Calmly I gathered my things, put on my shades, took one look at the sky and saw how beautiful it was (vowing to never put my self in this type of situation again), got in my car and I left. I never heard from him again only to receive messages that he left on my voicemail explaining how sorry he was. But on my way home I remember asking my self why I couldn't find a decent guy. After all, I didn't want much just someone who was NORMAL!
As I was driving home I saw a billboard advertising two sales associates for a real estate company. Right away I noticed your face. Your eyes caught my attention. Big beautiful hazel brown eyes! Why couldn't I meet a guy like you? You were professional, young and ambitious. Hell, I even wanted to BE you at the moment. At that moment I knew I needed to change my atmosphere. I needed new friends and new associates. I need to be with YOU! Weeks after seeing your face on that billboard, I remember picking up a catalog for real estate companies and seeing that same advertisement. I cut it out and pasted it in a scrap book as a reminder to never settle for anything less! You were something to aspire to. Every night before I went to bed, I would take out that advertisement and stare at it for hours envisioning our life together as a power couple making millions of dollars buying re-decorating and selling houses! It was a fantasy that I looked forward to dreaming about!
But of course I had no way of ever getting to meet you and I wouldn't dare call you so I did nothing. I went along my merry way and got back into the single swing of my life. I never thought about you again until that fateful day you walked into my office building for a meeting with my boss! I saw you and my jaw dropped! Right then, I had to take a chance! Some how I managed to get in on the negotiation of a deal for rental property that my boss was discussing and I got to go along with you and my boss to see the property (driving in separate cars of course).
Showing homes to prospective buyers is nothing new to you. To you it was like any other day. I was just another client to you, nothing special. To me your presence in my life at the moment was everything! You represented the possibility that dreams really do come true and the God really does answer prayers! I knew that us meeting this way was a sign! I had to be in your life somehow but unfortunately I was in no position for romance. I was working for pennies and you made millions. You wore designer suits and had millionaire clients. I wore whatever I could find on the sales rack at Walmart! You had friends that owned businesses. I had friends that worked for your friends. I wasn't your equal and I knew it! I guess I didn't want to meet you because you would realize it and break my heart. There had to be another way to get into your life.
I decided to approach you as a prospective buyer of a home myself. I convinced my self that I wouldn't technically be lying because one day I would like to buy a house. So, after agonizing over the decision to call you for a few weeks, I finally got up the nerve and dialed the number on your advertisement. It rang, you answered and your voice was so charming I almost fainted! You sounded like every thing I could have ever imagined. Your thoughts were clear and concise just like the business man I knew you would be. We set a time to meet. It was Monday at 6:00 p.m in your office.
When we met, you didn't look the same. You had lost a bit of weight and you were kind of in a rush. I knew you felt as if I was wasting your time when I told you that I had bad credit. You rushed me out and said you had another meeting. I could only imagine that you were in a hurry to get to your girlfriend or wife. I never got to ask you all the personal questions I wanted to ask because you kept it all business. I felt really awful afterwards and vowed that I would get myself together and one day be worthy of being in your life! I never saw you again until a year later.
I was working at a new job and the money was okay but not enough, but it was a lot more than what I was used to. One day while talking to a few co-workers I began surfing the web and decided to Google you. Another company came up and you were the head guy serving as their sales leader. I had to meet you again to show you that I was improved, so I called the number and set up a meeting, this time, I expressed that we had met before and that I wanted to get to know you. I felt that honesty was the best policy and I really had nothing to lose. I was more confident than I was a year ago. Well, when I got to the place to meet with you, you weren't there, however I met up with one of your associates and I talked to him. I told him that we had a mutual friend in common and he decided to help me get a job with your firm. That meant I got to see you every day! It was great, however, you never knew that was the reason for why I was there. Every chance I got I would make it my business to be where you were whenever you were in the building. I would always find a reason to empty the trash in your office, or get on the computer in the computer lab whenever you were there. I never really got the nerve to talk to you because you were either in a meeting, talking to someone else or just not paying me any attention. I started wearing low cut blouses and figure fitting slacks to work, just to see if you would notice. I drew attention but it wasn't from you but your associate on your team. He was cool but I really wanted you!
Your associate asked me out and I turned him down. I took the opportunity to tell him that I had feelings for you and that was the only reason I had accepted the job. He laughed in my face and told me that you thought I was a joke! A silly little girl looking for attention. He told me that you knew I was interested in you and he said that you ignored me on purpose just to see if I would speak to you just as a game! You laughed at me! You made fun of me behind my back, then you started to flirt with one of my co-workers just to annoy me! I felt so embarrassed and ashamed, that I faked an illness and never went back to work for your company ever again. That experience made me realize that I had put you on a pedestal. I used you as a motivation for my success. You were the prize that I never really won and I never realized why until now.
Now that I am successful in my own right I realize that I used you to motivate me to reach my goal. You represented power and success, which was something I wanted! When I couldn't have you at that moment, I took it as if I couldn't be powerful or successful. I inevitably got depressed, angry and really embarrassed but most of all humiliated. Not towards you but toward myself for ever feeling that way about you. It was crazy of me to seek you out like that and force myself into your life, only to never get up the nerve to talk to you. I don't blame you for thinking of me as a weirdo! Trust me, seeing myself through your eyes was definitely a wake up call. I had to find another way to motivate myself to get to where I wanted to be. I just had to learn patience.
I never gave up seeking power or success, I just gave up on ever wanting you because the idea of you being powerful and successful was a hell of a lot better than the reality of you. In reality, you are a jerk and I was a fool for ever thinking that your life was any better than the life I could create for myself! I had a foolish crush on you. I had a secret crush! Secret crushes only lead to stalking and that was never my intention. But one thing is for sure though, I will never make that mistake of secretly crushing over a guy I don't even know. I know who I am now. I am a woman that knows what she wants and will never be afraid to go after it! That is just the type of woman I am, but this time, there won't be any secrets and I won't be afraid of rejection because I know I am a good catch. If a man won't have me in his life then it is HIS LOSS! From now on, I live my life like its gold!
My love life hasn't always been easy. In fact, it has been a string of bad relationships. Recently I had just broken up with my boyfriend who threw me out of his hotel room (because he didn't have a place to live) because I wouldn't have sex with him. He told me that God told him that his affection would come from his wife and I was his future wife. He said that if I wasn't going to give him any affection then I needed to leave. He then became extremely violent screaming and yelling while throwing things around the room. He grabbed my purse from the night stand where I had put it earlier.He then grabbed my arm, dragging me to the door, opened it with his right hand and threw me out and with a dramatic flair threw my purse out onto the ground! Surprisingly enough, I was not upset.
Calmly I gathered my things, put on my shades, took one look at the sky and saw how beautiful it was (vowing to never put my self in this type of situation again), got in my car and I left. I never heard from him again only to receive messages that he left on my voicemail explaining how sorry he was. But on my way home I remember asking my self why I couldn't find a decent guy. After all, I didn't want much just someone who was NORMAL!
As I was driving home I saw a billboard advertising two sales associates for a real estate company. Right away I noticed your face. Your eyes caught my attention. Big beautiful hazel brown eyes! Why couldn't I meet a guy like you? You were professional, young and ambitious. Hell, I even wanted to BE you at the moment. At that moment I knew I needed to change my atmosphere. I needed new friends and new associates. I need to be with YOU! Weeks after seeing your face on that billboard, I remember picking up a catalog for real estate companies and seeing that same advertisement. I cut it out and pasted it in a scrap book as a reminder to never settle for anything less! You were something to aspire to. Every night before I went to bed, I would take out that advertisement and stare at it for hours envisioning our life together as a power couple making millions of dollars buying re-decorating and selling houses! It was a fantasy that I looked forward to dreaming about!
But of course I had no way of ever getting to meet you and I wouldn't dare call you so I did nothing. I went along my merry way and got back into the single swing of my life. I never thought about you again until that fateful day you walked into my office building for a meeting with my boss! I saw you and my jaw dropped! Right then, I had to take a chance! Some how I managed to get in on the negotiation of a deal for rental property that my boss was discussing and I got to go along with you and my boss to see the property (driving in separate cars of course).
Showing homes to prospective buyers is nothing new to you. To you it was like any other day. I was just another client to you, nothing special. To me your presence in my life at the moment was everything! You represented the possibility that dreams really do come true and the God really does answer prayers! I knew that us meeting this way was a sign! I had to be in your life somehow but unfortunately I was in no position for romance. I was working for pennies and you made millions. You wore designer suits and had millionaire clients. I wore whatever I could find on the sales rack at Walmart! You had friends that owned businesses. I had friends that worked for your friends. I wasn't your equal and I knew it! I guess I didn't want to meet you because you would realize it and break my heart. There had to be another way to get into your life.
I decided to approach you as a prospective buyer of a home myself. I convinced my self that I wouldn't technically be lying because one day I would like to buy a house. So, after agonizing over the decision to call you for a few weeks, I finally got up the nerve and dialed the number on your advertisement. It rang, you answered and your voice was so charming I almost fainted! You sounded like every thing I could have ever imagined. Your thoughts were clear and concise just like the business man I knew you would be. We set a time to meet. It was Monday at 6:00 p.m in your office.
When we met, you didn't look the same. You had lost a bit of weight and you were kind of in a rush. I knew you felt as if I was wasting your time when I told you that I had bad credit. You rushed me out and said you had another meeting. I could only imagine that you were in a hurry to get to your girlfriend or wife. I never got to ask you all the personal questions I wanted to ask because you kept it all business. I felt really awful afterwards and vowed that I would get myself together and one day be worthy of being in your life! I never saw you again until a year later.
I was working at a new job and the money was okay but not enough, but it was a lot more than what I was used to. One day while talking to a few co-workers I began surfing the web and decided to Google you. Another company came up and you were the head guy serving as their sales leader. I had to meet you again to show you that I was improved, so I called the number and set up a meeting, this time, I expressed that we had met before and that I wanted to get to know you. I felt that honesty was the best policy and I really had nothing to lose. I was more confident than I was a year ago. Well, when I got to the place to meet with you, you weren't there, however I met up with one of your associates and I talked to him. I told him that we had a mutual friend in common and he decided to help me get a job with your firm. That meant I got to see you every day! It was great, however, you never knew that was the reason for why I was there. Every chance I got I would make it my business to be where you were whenever you were in the building. I would always find a reason to empty the trash in your office, or get on the computer in the computer lab whenever you were there. I never really got the nerve to talk to you because you were either in a meeting, talking to someone else or just not paying me any attention. I started wearing low cut blouses and figure fitting slacks to work, just to see if you would notice. I drew attention but it wasn't from you but your associate on your team. He was cool but I really wanted you!
Your associate asked me out and I turned him down. I took the opportunity to tell him that I had feelings for you and that was the only reason I had accepted the job. He laughed in my face and told me that you thought I was a joke! A silly little girl looking for attention. He told me that you knew I was interested in you and he said that you ignored me on purpose just to see if I would speak to you just as a game! You laughed at me! You made fun of me behind my back, then you started to flirt with one of my co-workers just to annoy me! I felt so embarrassed and ashamed, that I faked an illness and never went back to work for your company ever again. That experience made me realize that I had put you on a pedestal. I used you as a motivation for my success. You were the prize that I never really won and I never realized why until now.
Now that I am successful in my own right I realize that I used you to motivate me to reach my goal. You represented power and success, which was something I wanted! When I couldn't have you at that moment, I took it as if I couldn't be powerful or successful. I inevitably got depressed, angry and really embarrassed but most of all humiliated. Not towards you but toward myself for ever feeling that way about you. It was crazy of me to seek you out like that and force myself into your life, only to never get up the nerve to talk to you. I don't blame you for thinking of me as a weirdo! Trust me, seeing myself through your eyes was definitely a wake up call. I had to find another way to motivate myself to get to where I wanted to be. I just had to learn patience.
I never gave up seeking power or success, I just gave up on ever wanting you because the idea of you being powerful and successful was a hell of a lot better than the reality of you. In reality, you are a jerk and I was a fool for ever thinking that your life was any better than the life I could create for myself! I had a foolish crush on you. I had a secret crush! Secret crushes only lead to stalking and that was never my intention. But one thing is for sure though, I will never make that mistake of secretly crushing over a guy I don't even know. I know who I am now. I am a woman that knows what she wants and will never be afraid to go after it! That is just the type of woman I am, but this time, there won't be any secrets and I won't be afraid of rejection because I know I am a good catch. If a man won't have me in his life then it is HIS LOSS! From now on, I live my life like its gold!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
The Special Friend
To My "Special Friend",
I remember the day when we first met. It was a cool fall afternoon. You were leaving the bookstore and I was entering the bookstore. I remember that day because I was going to look for a book on how to get back in shape. When I broke up with my last boyfriend, I vowed not to be insecure and decided to makes some changes in my life. That day was a defining moment for me and meeting you on that day had proven it. When you held the door open for me you smiled and said hello. When our eyes met, you took my breath away! I told myself that I would never fall for the same guy again so, I said hello and kept it moving!
You were handsome, and very attractive, yet I could no longer allow myself to fall for such a guy right off the bat. I thought about you for a few moments after that but by the end of the day I had forgotten all about you. A week went by and I went back to the bookstore, and there you were again, leaving as I was exiting! Again you spoke to me but this time you were more confident and asked for my phone number. I never really expected it. I was suppose to spout out a fake number as I have always done when guys I'm not interested in ask for my digits but this time, I blurted out my real one! However, I know guys and they usually never call. I had always thought that a lot of them just ask for the number just to see if they can get it and you were no exception. Oh well! After a few weeks of not one single phone call from you, I forgot about you AGAIN.
So you can understand how surprised I was when I saw you in Walmart! You were entering this time, and I was exiting the store. I noticed that you had two personal cell phones and a bluetooth device in your right ear. I always told myself not to go for guys with two cell phones because it usually indicates that they are players and have multiple women if they don't have their own business. Be for real, what other reason must a person have two cell phones? Well, either that or they just don't have any time to spend on new relationships.
Either way, when you approached me and assured me that you hadn't forgotten about me and that you would call, I surprisingly felt relieved. I don't know why because everything in my mind is telling me you are not the one but I'm lonely and I really could use the distraction from my boring life.
You finally made the call to me and by that time I had become really excited and looking forward to whatever kind of relationship this was. It really didn't matter to me at that point if you were a player or not.
Our first date was nice. We went for a walk in the park and we talked and shared our hopes and dreams. Wow! I never imagined what a real honest date would be like and you showed me. You never pressured me into anything, you allowed me to be myself and that was something I wasn't used to. You were a welcoming distraction that turned into something in the story books. By our 10 week anniversary I was head over heals in love and no one could tell me otherwise. I didn't care about the phone calls, the text messages, and the secret emails. I didn't care that whenever we became intimate, you always had something urgent to do afterwards. I didn't care that I never met your family or your close friends. All I wanted was you and I usually get what I want. For the moments that we were together I had you over and over and over again. I didn't want those private moments between us to ever end. I took full advantage of the time we spent together because I knew deep down that it would never last. But it did.
Our relationship lasted longer than I would have ever hoped it would considering your little confession. You told me that you were seeing another woman but you were not intimate with her like you were with me. She was your girlfriend, but I was your lover! You told me anything I wanted from you I could have. I told you all I wanted was you and you told me I had you. But I did have you. I had you up until your wedding day! She got your love, friendship and respect. All I got from you was your body. You know what? I may have been happy with that 7 years ago, but as I sit here and read your text messages, voicemail messages, and emails about how you miss me and still want to be with me, I'm sorry but its just not enough anymore.
Today I just turned thirty years old and I am not the same silly little school girl that believe everything a guy tells her. You see, I no longer hang on every word and expect you to mean what you say because you really don't mean what you say, but you definitely mean what you do. You did get married to another woman that is not me, and for that I will never forgive you. I will never speak to you again and our communication from this point on is no longer something I want. I no longer want you. I am a better woman because you taught me a valuable lesson, If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, then damn it, its a duck! You sir are a duck and now I know for a fact that my time with you was not completely in vain because now I can weed out the insignificant relationships in my life! I wish you luck in your marriage because you will need it. If you cheated on her for this long, you will never stop. Some women may not mind being the wife of a man who cheats, but that's only if they never know.
I remember the day when we first met. It was a cool fall afternoon. You were leaving the bookstore and I was entering the bookstore. I remember that day because I was going to look for a book on how to get back in shape. When I broke up with my last boyfriend, I vowed not to be insecure and decided to makes some changes in my life. That day was a defining moment for me and meeting you on that day had proven it. When you held the door open for me you smiled and said hello. When our eyes met, you took my breath away! I told myself that I would never fall for the same guy again so, I said hello and kept it moving!
You were handsome, and very attractive, yet I could no longer allow myself to fall for such a guy right off the bat. I thought about you for a few moments after that but by the end of the day I had forgotten all about you. A week went by and I went back to the bookstore, and there you were again, leaving as I was exiting! Again you spoke to me but this time you were more confident and asked for my phone number. I never really expected it. I was suppose to spout out a fake number as I have always done when guys I'm not interested in ask for my digits but this time, I blurted out my real one! However, I know guys and they usually never call. I had always thought that a lot of them just ask for the number just to see if they can get it and you were no exception. Oh well! After a few weeks of not one single phone call from you, I forgot about you AGAIN.
So you can understand how surprised I was when I saw you in Walmart! You were entering this time, and I was exiting the store. I noticed that you had two personal cell phones and a bluetooth device in your right ear. I always told myself not to go for guys with two cell phones because it usually indicates that they are players and have multiple women if they don't have their own business. Be for real, what other reason must a person have two cell phones? Well, either that or they just don't have any time to spend on new relationships.
Either way, when you approached me and assured me that you hadn't forgotten about me and that you would call, I surprisingly felt relieved. I don't know why because everything in my mind is telling me you are not the one but I'm lonely and I really could use the distraction from my boring life.
You finally made the call to me and by that time I had become really excited and looking forward to whatever kind of relationship this was. It really didn't matter to me at that point if you were a player or not.
Our first date was nice. We went for a walk in the park and we talked and shared our hopes and dreams. Wow! I never imagined what a real honest date would be like and you showed me. You never pressured me into anything, you allowed me to be myself and that was something I wasn't used to. You were a welcoming distraction that turned into something in the story books. By our 10 week anniversary I was head over heals in love and no one could tell me otherwise. I didn't care about the phone calls, the text messages, and the secret emails. I didn't care that whenever we became intimate, you always had something urgent to do afterwards. I didn't care that I never met your family or your close friends. All I wanted was you and I usually get what I want. For the moments that we were together I had you over and over and over again. I didn't want those private moments between us to ever end. I took full advantage of the time we spent together because I knew deep down that it would never last. But it did.
Our relationship lasted longer than I would have ever hoped it would considering your little confession. You told me that you were seeing another woman but you were not intimate with her like you were with me. She was your girlfriend, but I was your lover! You told me anything I wanted from you I could have. I told you all I wanted was you and you told me I had you. But I did have you. I had you up until your wedding day! She got your love, friendship and respect. All I got from you was your body. You know what? I may have been happy with that 7 years ago, but as I sit here and read your text messages, voicemail messages, and emails about how you miss me and still want to be with me, I'm sorry but its just not enough anymore.
Today I just turned thirty years old and I am not the same silly little school girl that believe everything a guy tells her. You see, I no longer hang on every word and expect you to mean what you say because you really don't mean what you say, but you definitely mean what you do. You did get married to another woman that is not me, and for that I will never forgive you. I will never speak to you again and our communication from this point on is no longer something I want. I no longer want you. I am a better woman because you taught me a valuable lesson, If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, then damn it, its a duck! You sir are a duck and now I know for a fact that my time with you was not completely in vain because now I can weed out the insignificant relationships in my life! I wish you luck in your marriage because you will need it. If you cheated on her for this long, you will never stop. Some women may not mind being the wife of a man who cheats, but that's only if they never know.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Voice Mail
Wednesday 12:35 p.m.
Message #1: The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!
Hey Sweetie, its me. Just thought I would call to let you know I was thinking about you. I would love to spend some time with you this weekend. Call me when you get this message.
Thursday 8:15 a.m.
Message #2: The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!
Hey sweetie, its me again. If you called me back, I may not have received your text or message because my phone died. Anyway, call me when you receive this message.
Friday 5:09 p.m.
Message #3: The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!
Hey babe! I hadn't heard from you in a while. Just calling to confirm our date tomorrow at 7p.m. like we discussed on Tuesday. Let me know something. Call me back!
Saturday 3:50 p.m.
Message # 4: The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!
Okay, I haven't heard from you in a few days and now I am assuming that A- something bad has happened to you or B- you are being a jerk! I really don't want to believe that you are a jerk so, please call me back!
Saturday 10:08 p.m.
Message #5: The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!
I can't believe that you would be so dumb as to bring that girl on the same date we were supposed to be on. Yes! I saw you with that girl in the pink scarf sitting a few rows up from me in the theater! I'm sure you didn't think I would come without you, but you were mistaken! I hope I never see you again! JERK!
Saturday 10:15 p.m.
Message #6: The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!
So, I guess I was just the back up to the girl you really wanted to go out with! Its cool! I have a back up plan too! Tomorrow I'm going out with your brother. That's right, the one you said that everyone thinks is better than you! The one you are so jealous of! Yeah! That GUY! LOSE MY NUMBER!!
Saturday 10:30 p.m.
Message #7: The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!
ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHOOOOOOOOLLLLEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
Saturday 11:00 p.m.
Voice mail Messenger Reply : Mailbox 5559654 is full. Goodbye!
Message #1: The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!
Hey Sweetie, its me. Just thought I would call to let you know I was thinking about you. I would love to spend some time with you this weekend. Call me when you get this message.
Thursday 8:15 a.m.
Message #2: The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!
Hey sweetie, its me again. If you called me back, I may not have received your text or message because my phone died. Anyway, call me when you receive this message.
Friday 5:09 p.m.
Message #3: The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!
Hey babe! I hadn't heard from you in a while. Just calling to confirm our date tomorrow at 7p.m. like we discussed on Tuesday. Let me know something. Call me back!
Saturday 3:50 p.m.
Message # 4: The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!
Okay, I haven't heard from you in a few days and now I am assuming that A- something bad has happened to you or B- you are being a jerk! I really don't want to believe that you are a jerk so, please call me back!
Saturday 10:08 p.m.
Message #5: The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!
I can't believe that you would be so dumb as to bring that girl on the same date we were supposed to be on. Yes! I saw you with that girl in the pink scarf sitting a few rows up from me in the theater! I'm sure you didn't think I would come without you, but you were mistaken! I hope I never see you again! JERK!
Saturday 10:15 p.m.
Message #6: The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!
So, I guess I was just the back up to the girl you really wanted to go out with! Its cool! I have a back up plan too! Tomorrow I'm going out with your brother. That's right, the one you said that everyone thinks is better than you! The one you are so jealous of! Yeah! That GUY! LOSE MY NUMBER!!
Saturday 10:30 p.m.
Message #7: The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!
ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHOOOOOOOOLLLLEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
Saturday 11:00 p.m.
Voice mail Messenger Reply : Mailbox 5559654 is full. Goodbye!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
The Trick
To The Other Woman,
I am a woman scorned by the lack of love. I was in a relationship with a man who never loved me for over three years. I remember confessing my love for him and asking him if he would leave his girlfriend and be with me forever and his only reply was, " I know you love me and want to be with me, silly! But I can't because I am with somebody!" It wasn't the 'being with somebody' that sent me over the edge, because I have broken up with him and taken him back, time and time again. No. What finally did it for me was that he called me 'Silly'! That word struck a nerve in me like nothing I have ever heard before, partly because he was right! Silly. Oh how I have been so silly! It was silly of me to think I had a future with this trifling, no good, two-timing loser. It was silly of me to think he could love me the way I wanted to be loved. He could never love me. To him, I am nothing but a silly little girl who's desire for attention and validation left her begging for scraps from a full course meal cooked to perfection in her honor. My silliness blinded me from the reality, replacing it with a fantasy! He called me silly! He saw me as silly and for that I am ashamed and embarrassed. Why have I subjected myself to such shame and humiliation over and over again?! He saw the silliness of my thinking. The truth within me-buried so deep it was beyond my comprehension. I have allowed this to happen for the sake of affection for one night of many with each month of the year because that was how often he wanted to see me. I have fallen for his trick but I have a better one.
Guys like this are full of tricks and are extremely sneaky. They pride themselves on knowing how to cover their tracks. They can build a web of lies so good that even they start to believe them to be true. To get even with a guy like this, you have to beat them at their own game. Who knows, if you are successful, you may be able to make some money off them!
You must know that this type of guy is an unintelligent, over-confidant liar! He lies to his wife/girlfriend about how much he loves her and that she is the only one for him. He lies about his whereabouts. He does this on a regular basis because he has to. He is extremely over confidant because he has done this so many times without getting caught, he think he is a natural. He knows that if you ever decide to tell his wife/girlfriend the real deal, there is a 50/50 chance that she won't believe you and he is betting she won't! What's more interesting is that he is not very bright. He tells you (the other woman) everything! You know more about his freaky escapades than his significant other does. He tells you the things he could never tell his wife/girlfriend because that will ruin the image of the man he fraudulently poses to be. You know every woman he has ever been with- all the way down to the very freaky detail of the encounter.
He thinks that by telling you these things you may feel privileged and special; whereby forming a false connection because of his openness.Opening up to you makes up for you being second best (or third best) and so on. It's also good for him to to release this burden of secrecy. There lies some level of trust because after all, you are a secret as well. You will never tell because you enjoy being privileged and special as I have felt. I enjoyed feeling special. I thought he needed me! but he was just using me and I allowed him to do it.
But not anymore! This time I felt it best to get even with him! I didn't like being known to be silly! So I got even.
After we hooked up for the last time, I waited three weeks before I called him and told him that I was pregnant. I told him that I was upset that it came to this and that since he wasn't going to be with me that I was going to have an abortion because there was no way that I could raise a child on my own while the father was with another woman. He agreed because he was selfish like that! I told him that since I was going to have the abortion and that it was his child, he would have to pay for it. I told him that since the clinic was out of town and that I had to stay a week in a hotel, that he would have to send me three thousand dollars, $1500 to cover the procedure, and $1500 for the hotel and food. He agreed. After that I told him once the procedure was done, that I would call him and after that I would never see him again! I told him it was too painful. He wired me the money straight to my bank account, I called him to tell him I received the money and I never heard from him again! Wow! Its a good thing I wasn't really pregnant!
I am a woman scorned by the lack of love. I was in a relationship with a man who never loved me for over three years. I remember confessing my love for him and asking him if he would leave his girlfriend and be with me forever and his only reply was, " I know you love me and want to be with me, silly! But I can't because I am with somebody!" It wasn't the 'being with somebody' that sent me over the edge, because I have broken up with him and taken him back, time and time again. No. What finally did it for me was that he called me 'Silly'! That word struck a nerve in me like nothing I have ever heard before, partly because he was right! Silly. Oh how I have been so silly! It was silly of me to think I had a future with this trifling, no good, two-timing loser. It was silly of me to think he could love me the way I wanted to be loved. He could never love me. To him, I am nothing but a silly little girl who's desire for attention and validation left her begging for scraps from a full course meal cooked to perfection in her honor. My silliness blinded me from the reality, replacing it with a fantasy! He called me silly! He saw me as silly and for that I am ashamed and embarrassed. Why have I subjected myself to such shame and humiliation over and over again?! He saw the silliness of my thinking. The truth within me-buried so deep it was beyond my comprehension. I have allowed this to happen for the sake of affection for one night of many with each month of the year because that was how often he wanted to see me. I have fallen for his trick but I have a better one.
Guys like this are full of tricks and are extremely sneaky. They pride themselves on knowing how to cover their tracks. They can build a web of lies so good that even they start to believe them to be true. To get even with a guy like this, you have to beat them at their own game. Who knows, if you are successful, you may be able to make some money off them!
You must know that this type of guy is an unintelligent, over-confidant liar! He lies to his wife/girlfriend about how much he loves her and that she is the only one for him. He lies about his whereabouts. He does this on a regular basis because he has to. He is extremely over confidant because he has done this so many times without getting caught, he think he is a natural. He knows that if you ever decide to tell his wife/girlfriend the real deal, there is a 50/50 chance that she won't believe you and he is betting she won't! What's more interesting is that he is not very bright. He tells you (the other woman) everything! You know more about his freaky escapades than his significant other does. He tells you the things he could never tell his wife/girlfriend because that will ruin the image of the man he fraudulently poses to be. You know every woman he has ever been with- all the way down to the very freaky detail of the encounter.
He thinks that by telling you these things you may feel privileged and special; whereby forming a false connection because of his openness.Opening up to you makes up for you being second best (or third best) and so on. It's also good for him to to release this burden of secrecy. There lies some level of trust because after all, you are a secret as well. You will never tell because you enjoy being privileged and special as I have felt. I enjoyed feeling special. I thought he needed me! but he was just using me and I allowed him to do it.
But not anymore! This time I felt it best to get even with him! I didn't like being known to be silly! So I got even.
After we hooked up for the last time, I waited three weeks before I called him and told him that I was pregnant. I told him that I was upset that it came to this and that since he wasn't going to be with me that I was going to have an abortion because there was no way that I could raise a child on my own while the father was with another woman. He agreed because he was selfish like that! I told him that since I was going to have the abortion and that it was his child, he would have to pay for it. I told him that since the clinic was out of town and that I had to stay a week in a hotel, that he would have to send me three thousand dollars, $1500 to cover the procedure, and $1500 for the hotel and food. He agreed. After that I told him once the procedure was done, that I would call him and after that I would never see him again! I told him it was too painful. He wired me the money straight to my bank account, I called him to tell him I received the money and I never heard from him again! Wow! Its a good thing I wasn't really pregnant!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
The Man of My Dreams
Dear Husband of One Year,
Shakespeare said it best, "To be, or not to be?-That is the question!". That is the question I ask my self every time I think of our relationship. Its hard waking up every morning not knowing what to expect and being swayed like the wind with doctrines and idealism that only you seem to comprehend. Its extremely tiresome to come home from work put the key in the front door and dread what is on the other side. To be or not to be? Will this be the final straw that breaks the camel's back or shall I say MY back? I am at a crossroad with you because you just don't think things through. You are all about the here and now and to me that is childish. I don't want any children right now, we discussed it! So, I can't raise you and I shouldn't have to. I thought you were an adult but it looks like I'm in love with a little boy. Ugh! You are so frustrating at times! Why can't you be more like the man of my dreams?
The man of my dreams cleans the house when I come home from work. He cooks dinner and runs my bath water and puts rose petals in them. The man of my dreams calls me 'sweetie' and 'honey' and 'dear'. Not, 'dude'! The man of my dreams is so romantic. We go for walks in the park and have picnics in the back yard, and at night, we layout a blanket and count the stars! I'm in love with the man of my dreams! He NEVER lets me down. When he says he is gonna do something, he does it! He puts me first before anything else! The man of my dreams lets me know he loves me by bringing me flowers just because he wants to for no particular reason at all! At one time, I thought you were the man of my dreams, that's why I married you. You swept me off my feet for six months then we got engaged! Then, six months later, we got married!
We met, got engaged and got married all in one year! Our love was a story book romance until we moved in together. The reality set in! You fart in your sleep, you belch after every meal which almost made me vomit! Your feet smell and you leave your shoes all over the house! You no longer work out, so your belly hangs over your belt, and your back is so hairy, you can walk outside with no shirt on and no one would ever notice! And for the love of God, BRUSH YOUR TEETH! Its like you stopped doing what it took to attract me to you.
Who are you and what have you done with the man of my dreams? I feel as if I had been lied to for a year! Honestly, If I knew you were this gross, I never would have married you. Stinky breath is a deal breaker for sure! So, honey...I love you, but unless you do something about your hygiene and start loving me the way you used to I don't think we will make it to our 3 year anniversary! Be the man of my dreams again!
Shakespeare said it best, "To be, or not to be?-That is the question!". That is the question I ask my self every time I think of our relationship. Its hard waking up every morning not knowing what to expect and being swayed like the wind with doctrines and idealism that only you seem to comprehend. Its extremely tiresome to come home from work put the key in the front door and dread what is on the other side. To be or not to be? Will this be the final straw that breaks the camel's back or shall I say MY back? I am at a crossroad with you because you just don't think things through. You are all about the here and now and to me that is childish. I don't want any children right now, we discussed it! So, I can't raise you and I shouldn't have to. I thought you were an adult but it looks like I'm in love with a little boy. Ugh! You are so frustrating at times! Why can't you be more like the man of my dreams?
The man of my dreams cleans the house when I come home from work. He cooks dinner and runs my bath water and puts rose petals in them. The man of my dreams calls me 'sweetie' and 'honey' and 'dear'. Not, 'dude'! The man of my dreams is so romantic. We go for walks in the park and have picnics in the back yard, and at night, we layout a blanket and count the stars! I'm in love with the man of my dreams! He NEVER lets me down. When he says he is gonna do something, he does it! He puts me first before anything else! The man of my dreams lets me know he loves me by bringing me flowers just because he wants to for no particular reason at all! At one time, I thought you were the man of my dreams, that's why I married you. You swept me off my feet for six months then we got engaged! Then, six months later, we got married!
We met, got engaged and got married all in one year! Our love was a story book romance until we moved in together. The reality set in! You fart in your sleep, you belch after every meal which almost made me vomit! Your feet smell and you leave your shoes all over the house! You no longer work out, so your belly hangs over your belt, and your back is so hairy, you can walk outside with no shirt on and no one would ever notice! And for the love of God, BRUSH YOUR TEETH! Its like you stopped doing what it took to attract me to you.
Who are you and what have you done with the man of my dreams? I feel as if I had been lied to for a year! Honestly, If I knew you were this gross, I never would have married you. Stinky breath is a deal breaker for sure! So, honey...I love you, but unless you do something about your hygiene and start loving me the way you used to I don't think we will make it to our 3 year anniversary! Be the man of my dreams again!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)