Dear Husband of One Year,
Shakespeare said it best, "To be, or not to be?-That is the question!". That is the question I ask my self every time I think of our relationship. Its hard waking up every morning not knowing what to expect and being swayed like the wind with doctrines and idealism that only you seem to comprehend. Its extremely tiresome to come home from work put the key in the front door and dread what is on the other side. To be or not to be? Will this be the final straw that breaks the camel's back or shall I say MY back? I am at a crossroad with you because you just don't think things through. You are all about the here and now and to me that is childish. I don't want any children right now, we discussed it! So, I can't raise you and I shouldn't have to. I thought you were an adult but it looks like I'm in love with a little boy. Ugh! You are so frustrating at times! Why can't you be more like the man of my dreams?
The man of my dreams cleans the house when I come home from work. He cooks dinner and runs my bath water and puts rose petals in them. The man of my dreams calls me 'sweetie' and 'honey' and 'dear'. Not, 'dude'! The man of my dreams is so romantic. We go for walks in the park and have picnics in the back yard, and at night, we layout a blanket and count the stars! I'm in love with the man of my dreams! He NEVER lets me down. When he says he is gonna do something, he does it! He puts me first before anything else! The man of my dreams lets me know he loves me by bringing me flowers just because he wants to for no particular reason at all! At one time, I thought you were the man of my dreams, that's why I married you. You swept me off my feet for six months then we got engaged! Then, six months later, we got married!
We met, got engaged and got married all in one year! Our love was a story book romance until we moved in together. The reality set in! You fart in your sleep, you belch after every meal which almost made me vomit! Your feet smell and you leave your shoes all over the house! You no longer work out, so your belly hangs over your belt, and your back is so hairy, you can walk outside with no shirt on and no one would ever notice! And for the love of God, BRUSH YOUR TEETH! Its like you stopped doing what it took to attract me to you.
Who are you and what have you done with the man of my dreams? I feel as if I had been lied to for a year! Honestly, If I knew you were this gross, I never would have married you. Stinky breath is a deal breaker for sure! So, honey...I love you, but unless you do something about your hygiene and start loving me the way you used to I don't think we will make it to our 3 year anniversary! Be the man of my dreams again!
