The Lie That Nearly Killed Me

Dear Lover,
I am laying here in this hospital bed wondering how the hell I got here and how is it that you are not here by my side. Out of all the people that should be here, you should have been the first person I saw when I woke up. Instead, all I saw was a nurse. A nurse who looked at me with disdain and pity in her glares. She comes in here every morning shaking her head and sucking her teeth. She looks down on me. Its not what she says that makes me think this way, but in her body language and the way she looks at me.  I'm afraid, I'm alone and I have no friends to comfort me. I guess I never realized that keeping this secret would mean that I would be here alone. But I thought you would be here. If I would have known then, what I know now, I might have told my parents about what's going on and  maybe someone would be here for me. But knowing my parents, they would have never allowed me to do this! I should have never listened to you!
My mother would have told me to keep my baby. She would have told me that children are a gift from God, and that if I was unfit to raise it, then that gift should be given to someone who is more prepared! I know she would have said that! My parents would have never made me get an abortion! But you did! Because I loved you, I allowed you to basically run my life! Come to think of it, nothing I really done up until now was my idea! You ran everything! To an outsider looking in, I had the perfect man! All my friends were jealous that my parents would allow me to date a college boy! Little did they know that I never told my parents about you. I never told them about the times you hit me. I never told them I got pregnant either. I just wanted to be a good woman to you, I know I am young but you told me that I'm mature for my age.
When you told me that you weren't ready to be a parent I agreed to get this abortion for you. I just wanted to make you happy. You told me if I got an abortion that you would then marry me because now you see that I can get pregnant. You told me you wanted to do the right thing by me. But I guess that was all a lie! I almost died for you and you can't even come and see me and be with me? The doctor said if I would have lost just a pint more of blood, I would be dead! He said someone found me on a park bench bleeding and called 911. A park bench? How did I get there? You drove me to that clinic! Why did you leave me to die? I thought you loved me! I thought you cared for me, but it looks like all you care about is your scholarship! What about me?