I'm a single woman in my prime! I have my own job, own my own house, pay my own bills. I am the quintessential independent woman. I provide for everything I need and want. From My head down to the soles of my feet, everything about me is store bought! I don't fake the funk. I keep it real with mine. I wear wigs not because my hair is short but because I want to try something different. Each wig/weave that I wear have a different name and they have different eye colors that I wear to go with them. On Wednesday nights, I'm wearing the blonde wig with blue eyes, so I'm Brenda for the night. On Thursday nights I wear my Sasha wig, with hazel contacts! Sasha gets the most attention. She is the party girl and I let loose whenever I become her! I love going out and portraying a different persona because it gives me a sense of adventure and adds passion to my life. However, I am starting to realize that the relationships I make don' t last very long. Every guy I meet seems to be hiding something or keeping some sort of secret that usually gets revealed around the third or sixth month of dating. All most all of those secrets are deal breakers. I had one guy tell me he was 35, Single, with one child. He was 35, he was single, but he was living with his girlfriend that was pregnant with his one child! We dated for about three months before I suggested we stop meeting at the club and start going out on real dates. One night he asked me to pick him up from what he said was his house, I arrived a little early only to see him kissing a pregnant woman two houses down from where he had me drop him off! I slowed down just enough for him to see that it was me as I sped off! I never talked to him again.
I dated this other guy who posed as a published author who was always working on a project. He would always plan to spend time with me only to cancel, because he wanted to write and finish his book. Come to find out, he was never published, and he just says that to make himself seem more interesting than what he really was, a pizza delivery guy! But my favorite was Tonell. Tonell was fine! He had abs on top of abs, 6'4 201 lbs of sheer muscle! Personal Trainer by day, and Sex Machine by night! Whew!! Tonell had it all, good looks, a thriving business, and swag! Tonell would always talk about being spiritual and how God was living within him. I just thought he was filled with the Holy Spirit! This dude actually thought he was the decendant of Zeus, the roman god! Yeah he sold me the dream, and let me down. It took me a while to get over the fact that this seemingly well to do guy was a weirdo!
After Tonell, I decided to take a break on dating altogether and really figure out what I was doing wrong. It wasn't long before I realized the problem was not with them but with me and the image I was portraying. If I wanted to attract a REAL man, I had to be a REAL WOMAN! With all of my fake hair, fake nails, fake eye lashes, fake eyes, breast implants, tummy tucks, and butt implants, no wonder I was confused and to why I couldn't find a real man. Hell, even my personality was fake! Subconsciously I created different personalities because I was afraid to show the real me because of the fear of not being accepted. The guys that were attracted to the fakeness, were fake themselves. In order for me to attract the type of guy I want, I had to be the type of woman I am which is me. But, I had gotten so caught up in the illusion, that I forgot who I really was. I just want to be normal. Its seems like normalcy is a dying breed! Not a whole lot of normal people out there
anymore. Too many people want to show off how intelligent they are, or
how much stuff they have (Me!) . Why complicate the simple?? Just be you, and
allow people to make up their own mind about you and stop trying so hard
to get people to see you as this or that! I swear, getting to know
someone is like peeling onions! Just when you thought you had broken
through, you got another layer to deal with causing you tears. I've done my fair share of crying and I refuse to cry especially over something I can change. I'm going to be the change, I want to see in this world! Less weirdness, and more NORMAL!
