I never wanted to let you in because I never wanted to feel the way I am feeling right now.I hate falling in love because I always seem to lose myself in it. When I fall in love nothing I valued before seems worth anything. My close friends become distant. My hobbies become things of the past and the food I once loved becomes flavorless.
You and the love I feel for you have replaced all of those things. You have become my closest friend. The only things I enjoy doing are things that you enjoy doing and your favorite foods have become my favorite as well. But where am I? What happened to ME? When did I lose myself in you and why did I allow this to happen?
I remember when I was interesting. I traveled the world and studied other cultures and tasted exotic fruits of the land. I took an interest in music and had even began taking guitar lessons. I was a prolific artist and could use my spare time to create wonderful works of art that people adored and coveted. I loved my creativity. It was my badge of independence and self actualization. I was confidant in what I did and who I was... until I met you.
You swept me off my feet by coming into my life and showing me a world I never thought possible. Your smile was comforting and your kisses were like velvet. Every fiber in my being craved your presence. I craved your scent and your sound and I also craved every word about your love for me. You were (and still remain) an interruption of my life.
Even now I feel the creativity draining from me as you sponge the very life of it from my body leaving me shriveled and dried up. I crave the moisture of creativity that flows from only your lips now. I allowed you to take away what was preciously mine only to receive a portion of the mediocrity of life that you possess. I never knew my value until I saw yours and by then, it was too late. Your love had taken over me and I was too weak to control it or even cease its destructive nature upon me.
Your love was a drug and it intoxicated me like nothing I have ever experienced. Not even a bottle of the strongest liquor could blur the line between lust and reality like the love I had for you. I couldn't let you go. You had me and I was an addict. The desire to be free has long gone away. I only long to be with you and to remain in your life and to only enjoy the things that are important to you. But what about me? What happened to me and when did I become this person that I no longer recognize? I have become the one thing I never thought I would ever be-LOST! I have become lost! I am lost in a type of love that never lasts forever and it will take forever to find myself again.
