The Trick

To The Other Woman,
I am a woman scorned by the lack of love. I was in a relationship with a man who never loved me for over three years. I remember confessing my love for him and asking him if he would leave his girlfriend and be with me forever and his only reply was, " I know you love me and want to be with me, silly! But I can't because I am with somebody!" It wasn't the 'being with somebody' that sent me over the edge, because I have broken up with him and taken him back, time and time again. No. What finally did it for me was that he called me 'Silly'! That word struck a nerve in me like nothing I have ever heard before, partly because he was right! Silly. Oh how I have been so silly! It was silly of me to think I had a future with this trifling, no good, two-timing loser. It was silly of me to think he could love me the way I wanted to be loved. He could never love me. To him, I am nothing but a silly little girl who's desire for attention and validation left her begging for scraps from a full course meal cooked to perfection in her honor. My silliness blinded me from the reality, replacing it with a fantasy! He called me silly! He saw me as silly and for that I am ashamed and embarrassed. Why have I subjected myself to such shame and humiliation over and over again?! He saw the silliness of my thinking. The  truth within me-buried so deep it was beyond my comprehension. I have allowed this to happen for the sake of affection for one night of many with each month of the year because that was how often he wanted to see me. I have fallen for his trick but I have a better one.
Guys like this are full of tricks and are extremely sneaky. They pride themselves on knowing how to cover their tracks. They can build a web of lies so good that even they start to believe them to be true. To get even with a guy like this, you have to beat them at their own game. Who knows, if you are successful, you may be able to make some money off them!
You must know that this type of guy is an unintelligent, over-confidant liar!  He lies to his wife/girlfriend about how much he loves her and that she is the only one for him. He lies about his whereabouts. He does this on  a regular basis because he has to. He is extremely over confidant because he has done this so many times without getting caught, he think he is a natural. He knows that if you ever decide to tell his wife/girlfriend the real deal, there is a 50/50 chance that she won't believe you and he is betting she won't! What's more interesting is that he is not very bright. He tells you (the other woman) everything! You know more about his freaky escapades than his significant other does. He tells you the things he could never tell his wife/girlfriend because that will ruin the image of the man he fraudulently poses to be. You know every woman he has ever been with- all the way down to the very freaky detail of the encounter.
He thinks that by telling you these things you may feel privileged  and special; whereby forming a false connection because of his openness.Opening up to you makes up for you being second best (or third best) and so on. It's also good for him to to release this burden of secrecy. There lies some level of trust because after all, you are a secret as well. You will never tell because you enjoy being privileged and special as I have felt. I enjoyed feeling special. I thought he needed me! but he was just using me and I allowed him to do it.
But not anymore! This time I felt it best to get even with him!  I didn't like being known to be silly! So I got even.
After we hooked up for the last time, I waited three weeks before I called him and told him that I was pregnant. I told him that I was upset that it came to this and that since he wasn't going to be with me that I was going to have an abortion because there was no way that I could raise a child on my own while the father was with another woman. He agreed because he was selfish like that! I told him that since I was going to have the abortion and that it was his child, he would have to pay for it. I told him that since the clinic was out of town and that I had to stay a week in a hotel, that he would have to send me three thousand dollars, $1500 to cover the procedure, and $1500 for the hotel and food. He agreed. After that I told him once the procedure was done, that I would call him and after that I would never see him again! I told him it was too painful. He wired me the money straight to my bank account, I called him to tell him I received the money and I never heard from him again! Wow! Its a good thing I wasn't really pregnant!

The Man of My Dreams

Dear Husband of One Year,
Shakespeare said it best, "To be, or not to be?-That is the question!". That is the question I ask my self every time I think of our relationship. Its hard waking up every morning not knowing what to expect and being swayed like the wind with doctrines and idealism that only you seem to comprehend. Its extremely tiresome to come home from work put the key in the front door and dread what is on the other side. To be or not to be? Will this be the final straw that breaks the camel's back or shall I say MY back? I am at a crossroad with you because you just don't think things through. You are all about the here and now and to me that is childish. I don't want any children right now, we discussed it! So, I can't raise you and I shouldn't have to. I thought you were an adult but it looks like I'm in love with a little boy. Ugh! You are so frustrating at times! Why can't you be more like the man of my dreams?
The man of my dreams cleans the house when I come home from work. He cooks dinner and runs my bath water and puts rose petals in them. The man of my dreams calls me 'sweetie' and 'honey' and 'dear'. Not, 'dude'! The man of my dreams is so romantic. We go for walks in the park and have picnics in the back yard, and at night, we layout a blanket and count the stars! I'm in love with the man of my dreams! He NEVER lets me down. When he says he is gonna do something, he does it! He puts me first before anything else! The man of my dreams lets me know he loves me by bringing me flowers just because he wants to for no particular reason at all! At one time, I thought you were the man of my dreams, that's why I married you. You swept me off my feet for six months then we got engaged! Then, six months later, we got married!
We met, got engaged and got married all in one year! Our love was a story book romance until we moved in together. The reality set in! You fart in your sleep, you belch after every meal which almost made me vomit! Your feet smell and you leave your shoes all over the house! You no longer work out, so your belly hangs over your belt, and your back is so hairy, you can walk outside with no shirt on and no one would ever notice!  And for the love of God, BRUSH YOUR TEETH! Its like you stopped doing what it took to attract me to you.
Who are you and what have you done with the man of my dreams? I feel as if I had been lied to for a year! Honestly, If I knew you were this gross, I never would have married you. Stinky breath is a deal breaker for sure! So, honey...I love you, but unless you do something about your hygiene and start loving me the way you used to I don't think we will make it to our 3 year anniversary! Be the man of my dreams again!

Over Before It Really Started

To Some Guy,
If I had to go on actions alone then I would say you have made your thoughts about me crystal clear. You told me the reason why you never called me after our date was that you were afraid to hurt my feelings and you did not want me to take my hurt out on the next guy. You were sparing me any pain. Wow! You really are lame to think that, as if you are so great and have that much control over my life. Sweetie, I am not one of these fragile women who gets their heart broken by ONE guy and thinks all men are that way. I am also not the kind of woman needing a man in her life just to validate her self worth. My happiness is my responsibility not yours or anyone else for that matter.
You have the audacity to call me and leave me a message on my voicemail about this idea that you don't want to cause another woman to be bitter. Are you serious? What kind of women have you been dating? Okay, in case you haven't heard, you are not all that! You are the type of man that expect me to lie down and cower to you just because you winked at me from across the room, blew a kiss and asked for my phone number. That is nothing compared to the weekends I spent in Aspen and the trips to Europe, and the seasonal tickets I have to all the championship games every year. My point, I've had better, and I don't need your flirty behavior to make me feel special. In fact, your flirting made me feel common because you flirt with everyone. Our relationship was not all that great anyway. When I did call you, half the time you never answered the phone. When you did answer the phone, you were too busy to devote your time to a real conversation. After our first date you called me once and that was to say you were going out of town. It was a confusing time for me because you were saying you wanted to spend time with me and be with me, but your actions prove otherwise.
In my experience, guys who usually give mixed signals like this means that they are not looking for a serious relationship. I suspect that is the case with you as well. You just want to lead me to believe that you want a relationship just so you can get sex. You say you looking for love and want someone you can be with, but you refuse to make anytime to be with anyone other than the time you want to spend which is in the bed. If I weren't a smart woman and could not read the signs, I might have fallen for you. But I did not! I am stronger than I look. I understand your situation. You are not emotionally available right now and you looking for a different type of relationship that what I am looking for. You don't have to make excuses of why you do not want to be with me. In fact, if you were just honest up front, then maybe we could have been friends and could have talked about it like adults rather than playing cat and mouse games.
Its okay because I have moved on but I hope that next time you date someone, you will be honest about your intentions and what you are looking for in the beginning. Then, maybe you will up your chances of finding real love. Best of luck to you.

Cooking In A Dirty Kitchen

To My Dearest,
My mother always said never to cook in a dirty kitchen and I always thought she meant household duties. She would say, "Keep your house clean, especially the kitchen, because a man don't want food cooked and prepared in a dirty kitchen!". She believed men were simple, uncomplicated and that we women were the ones that complicated things. She told me all men needed to be happy were food, sex, and sleep and if they could get all three in the same place from the same woman, they were lucky, blessed even. I never really understood what she was telling me until I was in my thirties dealing with my second marriage. Her words haunted me, and in an instant that one night, while in your arms for the last time, I knew what she was trying to get me to understand.
All this time I blamed you. I blamed you for the miscarriage of our first baby. I blamed you for going outside our marriage for what you said was a 'break' from all the pressures of being married. I blamed you for a lot of things only because it was so easy to be the victim. It was so easy to put all the responsibility of keeping our marriage together on you. I placed so much significance on sexual infidelity that I didn't consider the emotional and psychological infidelity that I contributed.
Looking back on things I realized what I did to push you away. I stopped talking you. I withheld sex from you and I alienated you from my life by not including you in decisions that I made that effected the both of us. I made you feel unwanted and undesirable. The reasons were not that clear as they are now. I wanted you to feel  pain. I wanted you to feel hurt and humiliated the same way I felt when people asked me about the pregnancy and the due date! I hated how you just brushed off the miscarriage so quickly like it was no big deal. It was a big deal to me and it should have been  a big deal to you. Instead, you just went on like nothing happened. Deep down I was suffering! Drowning in my own sorrow and yearning for the baby I expected to have, I resented you for wanting me to go on with my life. I hated how you could smile and go out with your friends like nothing happened. I was jealous of you because unlike you, I still looked pregnant and strangers would ask me when my due date was and I would have to lie as opposed to telling the truth and risk being humiliated.  But you didn't know any of this and how could you because I never told you. I never gave you the opportunity to be there for me.
I know you loved me and would do anything for me, but I allowed jealousy and a contrite spirit to ruin my love for you. As much as I would love to blame you right now, I can't because I played a significant part in why you disappeared from our marriage. I wrote this in a letter because I know that if I told you in person, you would want to try and make our relationship work, and right now, I can't. Right now I am working on me. I need some much needed therapy so I have enrolled in group therapy for women who lost babies. Its not much but its a start to getting myself together.With hope, maybe I can become the woman my mother would be proud of and eventually be the type of woman a man will feel blessed to have, lucky even. Its time I stop cooking in a dirty kitchen and start cleaning up the mess around me that I call my life. I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me and be friends. I wish you all the best out of life and take care.

Love U, But Not In Love With U

Dear Jon,
I can only imagine how you must feel right now. No, I know how you are feeling because I have been there. I have been the person being dumped. You are afraid to move on and I understand. However, you should really move on and let me go. Really, our relationship was not that serious and if you really took some time to think about it, you would agree! We had some really good times together as friends! There was no romance involved at all. We never even held hands or kissed. You are acting so strange because I keep telling you that nothing has changed and that I don't feel the same way you do. I've heard it plenty of times from you that you want there to be something more between us. But there is just nothing there.
You can't keep showing up at my home without calling first and expect me to drop what I am doing to hear you out. Doing that will not change my mind, it will only drive me away. You call me a hundred times  a day and when I answer you say the same stuff. Let it go! You are making me not want to even be your friend anymore. I get it! You want there to be something more to us. But I'm not looking for more I'm sorry! I don't feel the same way. I like our friendship the way it is.
You know,  if I wasn't a real friend to you I would never tell you this. I would just string you along but you deserve better. You deserve someone who loves you for who you are. You deserve someone that will give you the love that you need and are looking for. You are a really nice guy, and yes I am sure you will fulfill every fantasy I have but, I don't want you to. I would much rather see you love and be loved by someone else who will appreciate what you are willing to offer. That person is just not me. So, you can stand to call me a little less and stop dropping by my house and showing up at my job with roses  because its sending the wrong message to my co workers. Besides, you and I have always been friends, so lets not ruin it with romance. Maybe a few years from now when you are married, I will probably think that you were that one that got away, sure! But for now, its not going to happen.I love you too much as a friend to ever put the burden of romantic feelings on our friendship! 
Look at it this way, if you become my boyfriend, who will I confide in when you and I get into arguments? You are my only friend and if we don't work out, it will be too awkward to remain friends. No, lets keep it simple okay? Just promise you won't do any more crazy and humiliating stuff to embarrass yourself  when it comes to this and I swear we can still be friends if not, then I'm sorry but I will have to keep my distance. I love you but I'm not in love with you!

From No Class to High Class With a Glossy Finish

To Whom This May Concern,
I know you. You are the type of man that allows himself to believe that women owe you something. Just because you believe that you are scarce or that there is not enough of  men like you to go around, you actually believe that there is no need to strive for excellence because even in your mediocrity you will come out on top. You will get the girl because, after all,  the women out number the men right? I mean, with the jail population rising and the unemployment rate soaring,  just because you have a job and moderately good looks, a woman should be lucky to have you. But that is not true. The women you have dated have put you on a pedestal by not believing they deserve more! In fact, the women you date (whom you purposely go after) have low self esteem and are constantly looking for it in a man. They look for a man to validate them instead of God. But what's so surprising about that is you also need validation. You go after these types of women because they are easy to achieve.
The low cut dress, the skin tight leggings and the lingerie clad women, all of this screams for attention and the need to be validated. You purposely go for these women because they want you, the mediocre man. You don't have to be polite, open up doors, pull out chairs or respect them at all. They will love you for just being with them and if you are extra lucky, you will get one who won't require you to pay any bills. Just spend quality time with her when ever you can, that is enough for her. After all, you have a lot of these women in your life and you have to balance your time spent with all of them.
You are the type of man that gets his validation through quantity not quality and the women you attract get their validation by being the one you spend the most time with. Sometimes they know they aren't the only one you are with. They don't care. They just want to say they have a man and flaunt him in front of friends and family. " Look what I got, I told you somebody wants me. I must be worth something after all".  If you are looking for that type of woman then you got the wrong one!
I'm not settling for mediocrity. I am achieving greatness and I want a man that is striving for it as well. There is nothing more attractive to me than a man with a vision and a passion to see it through. I want a man that I can help and who wants my help to achieve his greatness! I deserve to have a man that respects me and my opinions and motivates me to be the best woman I can be. I need a man with class in his character. Some one who opens doors and pulls out chairs without me having to ask. I deserve to have someone that loves and admires me to the point of seeking no other women in bars and night clubs or anywhere else. I need a man that values family and God. A man, led by the spirit of God, puts God first above all else by never making decisions without seeking God's counsel. The man I deserve knows that only God can bring a man from no class to high class with a glossy finish! If you know any guys like that just send them my way! And as for you, well, there is a woman that lives next door to me named Becky. If you want her number let me know, I am sure she is more your type!

Long Distance Love Affair

Dear Love,

I love you and I love you even more now that you and I live so far apart from each other. What is it about being so far away that makes my words flow like poetry from my heart? Oh how I long for your sweet caress and your strong yet gentle bond of love that consoles and fills me to the brim with anticipation and adoration. Your love is like a gentle cool breeze flowing in the summer's heat-I'm always wanting more! I must confess that since you have been gone, my love for you has grown significantly and judging by the letters you used to write me, you feel the same way. Your letters, your emails, and phone calls were a comfort to me, and they showed me that you cared. I want to know If you are thinking of me and I want to know if the love we have is still alive in your heart.

When you awake in the morning do you think of me? When you go jogging in the morning, and you see the sun rise, do you feel closer to me knowing that it is the same sun rise that I am looking at? When you look up at the stars at night, do you wonder if I am looking up at the stars too? I wonder those things about you!

I feel closer to you knowing that we share the same sun, moon and stars above! I feel closer knowing that you and I can still be together by living in the same world even though only a few miles makes us feel worlds apart! I miss you so much and it has been so long since I have gotten a phone call or email from you. We used to Skype each other every night before we went to bed, now I'm lucky to even get a text message. I'm going crazy! My mind is reeling over where you are, who you are with, and what you are doing! I cannot stand the agony of not knowing where we stand with one another! 

Did something bad happen to you where you can't get to a phone? Have you found someone else? Please! Just communicate what is going on with you! It's been a week and I have not heard anything from you, and we usually communicate daily! Are you upset that I didn't call you on your birthday because I told you my phone died and that is still no reason to not communicate with me. Sweetheart, you can't just stop talking to me as if we see each other everyday!

Our relationship is complicated by the fact that it is a long distance relationship! If  we don't communicate with one another, we no longer have a relationship! You can't expect me to wait on you to call me! I'm agonizing over the thought of whether or not we are over or still together! So, I am giving you until Friday to call me and let me know what's going on. If I do not hear from you by Friday, I will govern myself according to the assumption of you moving on with your life. I hope that I hear from you soon-Love You!